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Tips for Better Communication with Your Spouse During Divorce

It might not be easy, but as you go through the divorce process, it can be very helpful to maintain at least some level of healthy communication with your spouse. There may be some circumstances in which you will need to converse through your attorneys, but in general, you could save a lot of time, money and energy simply through good communication.

If you do not engage in direct communication, you run the risk of playing a game of telephone, with some of your messages being misunderstood or getting lost in translation. Additionally, your ability to keep open lines of communication with your spouse will be a good example for your children, if you have them.

The following are a few tips to maintain good communication in a divorce:

  • Never try to communicate when you are angry or upset. Instead, wait until you have calmed down and can think clearly about what you are saying.
  • Do not feel as though you always must respond to your spouse immediately, especially if the message you get from him or her is unimportant. Take the time you need to better articulate your response.
  • Consider having ground rules for communications, including cut-off times for communications, certain types of communications you will engage in and what constitutes an actual emergency.
  • Think about staying off social media as much as is possible while you are going through a divorce. You’ll want to avoid unnecessary glimpses into your personal social life until the divorce is finalized, as your spouse could use things you post online against you.
  • Never raise your voice. Always be as cordial and civil as possible. Raised voices or condescending speech will only encourage more hostility during the divorce process.

For the guidance and advice you need when dissolving your marriage in Minnesota, speak with an experienced divorce attorney at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

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  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties.Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.


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