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What Not to Do If You’ve Discovered Your Spouse is Cheating

Nothing can turn your world upside down like discovering your spouse has been unfaithful. In that moment, it can feel like your entire world is slipping away.

To that end, it’s completely understandable to want to take drastic action when you’ve made this discovery, but it is important to exercise caution with how you proceed. In some ways, taking the high road can be of great help to you if a divorce becomes necessary.

The following are some actions you should not take once you’ve discovered your spouse is cheating:

  • Blow up in public or on social media: Do not spread the news about your spouse’s unfaithfulness to everyone you know or post rants about your situation on social media. This will reflect poorly on you when it comes time to go to your divorce hearings. Keep it within your very closest circle of family and friends and avoid mudslinging, especially in public.
  • Get destructive: Again, while we understand how tempting it may be to try to hurt your spouse in the same way he or she hurt you, you must absolutely avoid doing anything destructive. Any damage you do may come back to haunt you during your divorce. The high road is not necessarily easy, but it will give you the best chance at a positive outcome.
  • Get the kids involved: Never involve your kids — your divorce is going to be difficult enough for them. Keep your discovery to yourself until you have developed a good plan as to how you and your spouse will break the news of your divorce to them together.
  • Lose control of your emotions: This is, of course, easier said than done. Discovering your partner is cheating can send your life and your whole world into a tailspin, but you cannot respond by emotionally shutting down — or worse, by relying on alcohol or other substances to dull the pain. Keep your wits about you and form a plan of action for how you will move forward.

For further information and guidance on how you might end your marriage, speak with a dedicated Minnesota divorce attorney at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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