You May Want to Ease into a New Relationship Immediately After Divorce

The time after your divorce is likely to be quite challenging. Many people immediately begin to search for a new “soul mate” who can complete them, but this is not necessarily the best course of action, depending on your situation. In fact, taking some time to yourself could be just what you need to feel whole again after your divorce is finalized.

The following are a few reasons why some people may wish to avoid a new relationship in the months immediately following divorce:

  • You can find your own identity: While you were married, you likely became so used to sharing everything that part of your identity was attached to your spouse. Having some time by yourself can allow you to once again discover your own identity and become your own person.
  • You need time to grieve: Just as it can take some time to truly and effectively grieve the loss of a loved one, it can take some time to grieve the end of a marriage. The amount of time this takes varies from person to person. If you do need to take some time, know that this is not only normal, but also very much encouraged. You are on your own timeline.
  • You escape the shadow of a previous relationship: Although you will never truly forget your previous relationship, waiting a little longer to get into a new one allows you to at least somewhat avoid comparing everything about your new relationship to your former one. It’s not fair to others to constantly hold them to the same standards you held for your ex-spouse, for better or for worse.
  • You can determine which traits you want to pursue: It’s natural to come out of a relationship and attempt to find someone who fits the exact same mold as your previous partner. However, time to yourself allows you to reflect a bit more on the qualities you are truly seeking in a relationship.

For the sound guidance and advice you need before, during and after a divorce, consult a dedicated Minnesota family law attorney with Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart.

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