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How to Help Your Children Adjust to Life After Divorce

When you get divorced, you may feel as if your role as a parent is about to change completely and permanently. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Although there certainly could be some changes to your daily life, the way you parent your children after a divorce will likely (and should) be very similar to how you parented them in the past.

Below are a few tips to help you and your kids adjust to life after divorce:

  • Consistency is crucial: You must be as consistent as possible with your children and strive to create a stable environment, at least to the extent that’s possible. Having the same rules in both households — such as bedtimes, curfews and screen time — will provide your kids with the structure they crave, while also making life easier on both parents.
  • Don’t interrogate your children: It can be tempting to want to know what’s happening with your former partner, but you should never try to get information out of your kids. Don’t ask about whether the other parent is dating anyone new, how much he or she is spending or what’s happening in your former spouse’s daily live. Children should not be spies or confidants, as playing this role adds unnecessary stress to their lives.
  • Don’t badmouth the other parent: It is imperative that your children have strong, positive relationships with both parents. While you may have a lot of negative feelings about your ex-spouse, never voice those feelings in front of your children. When you are together in front of the kids, be as cordial and mature as possible. The two of you can still have a somewhat amicable and mature relationship that serves as a positive model for your children.
  • Let the other parent be a parent: Just because you have a different parenting style than your former spouse does not mean you should attempt to interfere with his or her efforts to parent your children. The more you attempt to interfere, the more likely it is that you will end up having entirely unnecessary and stressful arguments with one another.

For the guidance and advice you need before, during and after a divorce, consult a dedicated Minnesota family law attorney with Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.

  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties. Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.

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