When you get divorced, you may feel as if your role as a parent is about to change completely and permanently. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Although there certainly could be some changes to your daily life, the way you parent your children after a divorce will likely (and should) be very similar to how you parented them in the past.
Below are a few tips to help you and your kids adjust to life after divorce:
- Consistency is crucial: You must be as consistent as possible with your children and strive to create a stable environment, at least to the extent that’s possible. Having the same rules in both households — such as bedtimes, curfews and screen time — will provide your kids with the structure they crave, while also making life easier on both parents.
- Don’t interrogate your children: It can be tempting to want to know what’s happening with your former partner, but you should never try to get information out of your kids. Don’t ask about whether the other parent is dating anyone new, how much he or she is spending or what’s happening in your former spouse’s daily live. Children should not be spies or confidants, as playing this role adds unnecessary stress to their lives.
- Don’t badmouth the other parent: It is imperative that your children have strong, positive relationships with both parents. While you may have a lot of negative feelings about your ex-spouse, never voice those feelings in front of your children. When you are together in front of the kids, be as cordial and mature as possible. The two of you can still have a somewhat amicable and mature relationship that serves as a positive model for your children.
- Let the other parent be a parent: Just because you have a different parenting style than your former spouse does not mean you should attempt to interfere with his or her efforts to parent your children. The more you attempt to interfere, the more likely it is that you will end up having entirely unnecessary and stressful arguments with one another.
For the guidance and advice you need before, during and after a divorce, consult a dedicated Minnesota family law attorney with Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.