In the midst of a bitter and contentious divorce, it can be easy to lose sight of why you ever married in the first place. Your ex may begin to seem to like your enemy and you may be driven to find way to undermine or punish him or her as a result. Even when you have children, it can be easy to forget how damaging this behavior is.
One Minnesota judge who has presided over divorce cases for years offered simple but profound advice to a couple nearly two decades ago. He reminded a couple that was facing a bitter divorce and custody battle that their children should not be punished for their divorce. These children are the result of a couple’s union and, even when that couple no longer wishes to be together, this not does not change that they are each responsible for raising their children.
This advice is important to remember even when you’re in the deep throes of a divorce. Children often suffer the most when their parents cannot cooperate with one another. No parent actually wishes to punish the children, but inadvertently they can by refusing to work together with their ex.
For this reason, it is a good idea to be proactive in setting up a strong co-parenting agreement with your ex. This agreement may address matters such as schedules, discipline, finances and more. By drawing up a contact, parents can provide consistency and balanced support for their children. It can add a degree of predictability and allow parents to move on from their marriage but not from their parental obligations.
Cooperative co-parenting is key to helping children adjust to life after their parents divorce. For further guidance on this important issue, consult the experienced Minnesota family law attorneys at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.