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Recognizing the Signs of an Abusive Relationship

In some situations, it can take time for victims of domestic abuse to realize that they are in an abusive relationship. This is especially true when the abuse isn’t physical. Cuts and bruises are clear symptoms of abuse, but the mental and emotional scarring is not always as easy to notice and confront.

With this in mind, here are a few tips to help you determine whether or not you or a loved one are in an abusive relationship:

  • Question your innermost feelings: Consider your gut instincts and inner thoughts. For example, do you ever feel afraid of your partner or avoid discussing certain topics out of fear of angering him or her? Perhaps you sometimes feel as though you can do nothing right, or have even begun to believe you deserve to be mistreated. These are all signs of abuse.
  • Consider your partner’s behavior: Does your partner ever yell at you, humiliate you, put you down, criticize you unnecessarily or treat you so badly you’re worried about what your friends or family will think? Perhaps he or she treats you as property or a sex object rather than another person. These are all tell-tale signs of abusive partners.
  • Determine if you have been threatened: Does your partner have an unpredictable temper? Has he or she ever threatened to hurt you in any way, or actually gone through with hurting you? In some cases, an abusive partner might even threaten to hurt or kill him or herself if you attempt to leave them.
  • Analyze if your partner has tried to control you: Abusive partners often attempt to exercise a great degree of control. They tend to be jealous and possessive, and attempt to control your comings and goings and who you spend time with or talk to. They may even attempt to limit your access to a car, money or phones.

If you believe you may be a victim in an abusive marriage and need help, work with an experienced Minnesota divorce attorney at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.

  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties. Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.

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