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Tips for Managing Relationships With Adult Children When Going Through Gray Divorce

There has been a substantial increase in the number of people getting divorced later in life, a phenomenon referred to as “gray divorce.” For people who get divorced near or during their senior years or around retirement age, it can be difficult to manage the changing nature of your life while also attempting to manage relationships with children you have who are probably well into adulthood.

Here are a few tips for continuing to have strong relationships with your adult children while navigating gray divorce.

  • Know your role: You are still the parent, and even well into adulthood your children will still look at you as their role model and come to you for answers. It’s easy for parents to think of their adult children as just another peer, but the role you have in their life will always be that of a parent, even as you age and your adult children do what they can to help you out. Try to avoid a role reversal.
  • Be cordial: Avoid disparaging the other parent in front of your children. Even adult children can feel caught between parents when they get divorced, and you should make sure to support healthy relationships as much as possible.
  • Avoid creating loyalty issues: This goes along with the previous point, but avoid trying to get your adult children to side with you over their other parent. In addition, avoid speaking and ranting about the divorce in such a way that it could damage your children’s own perception of their relationships.
  • Don’t be afraid to accept help: All this said, don’t be afraid to accept help. Sometimes your children will have valid concerns about you and will want to help you out of a place of love. While you don’t always need to accept that help, sometimes it can be beneficial to do so.

For more tips, contact an experienced Minnesota divorce lawyer at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

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  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties. Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.


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