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What Not to Say When Discussing Divorce with Your Spouse

While you may have been thinking about divorce for some time, approaching the subject with your spouse will likely be difficult. In fact, how you handle this matter could have a big impact on your divorce proceedings, especially as they related to child custody, child support and the division of marital assets.

Here are a few tips on what not to say when discussing divorce with your spouse:

  • Do not make any promises about property: This is especially important when discussing your family home, which is many times your most valuable asset. Promises made early on in discussions that are not followed through on sometimes make it harder to trust agreements made later in the process.
  • Do not threaten to use the children or custody of the children against the other party: Threatening the other parent to withhold the children or to tell the children the details of the divorce is frowned upon by judges and can have ultimately have negative ramifications on how a judge may decide a case. Children are never to be used as a tool in a divorce.
  • Do not become angry or overly emotional: Obviously, this is easier said than done, but you should never say, text, or email anything hurtful to your spouse, raise your voice or lose control of your emotions. Staying cool, calm and collected will allow you to have a more mature conversation, even if your spouse does not give you the same courtesy. This applies especially when in the presence of the children.

For the sound legal guidance and advice you need when going through a divorce in Minnesota, speak with a dedicated family law attorney at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart.

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  • "Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.

  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties. Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.

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