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What to Do If You Believe Your Spouse is Cheating On You

When you do not feel as if you can trust your partner, it can cause a great deal of strain on your marriage. However, many people make the mistake of being secretive if they believe their spouse is being unfaithful, sneaking onto their spouse’s phone logging into their email accounts.

A better way to handle this situation may be to simply confront your spouse directly. Ask him or her about your concerns and make it clear that you can handle the truth — good or bad.

But how do you even get to this point? To be sure, there must be at least some evidence that would cause you to address the subject. Here are some tips to follow if your suspicions have been raised:

  • Trust your instincts: If your gut is telling you there are some red flags you simply cannot ignore, trust that feeling. Chances are you’ve seen several warning signs popping up here and there that, taken individually, would not indicate the presence of infidelity. But when you put everything together, you might find some clarity.
  • Do not violate your spouse’s privacy: Snooping can and will make the situation worse. If you end up being wrong, for example, you are the one who has truly betrayed the trust in the relationship. Even if you suspect your spouse has cheated, you should not worsen the situation by being secretive.
  • Figure out the right time to talk: This is going to be a difficult and awkward conversation, so you need to make sure you time it correctly. You will both need to be fully awake and able to process everything the other person is saying. You should also have plenty of time available and privacy from others to have this conversation.
  • Express why you are worried: Before you begin making any accusations, share your own fears and suspicions and why they arose. Your spouse may become defensive or angry, but if you focus on yourself first, it may lessen the impact.
  • Seek therapy if necessary: If it turns out the issue is too big for you to work through by yourselves, give some serious thought to working with a marriage counselor or therapist. These professionals are skilled at helping couples address problems that are keeping them from achieving true success in their marriages.

If you and your spouse are thinking about seeking a divorce in Minnesota, get the assistance you need by working with an experienced family law attorney at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

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