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Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process

It is understandable if you want to avoid any contact whatsoever with your spouse after the two of you have decided to get a divorce. However, some level of communication will may be necessary to ensure the process goes reasonably smoothly.

You have two choices: communicate directly or communicate through attorneys. Below are some issues to consider.

Direct communication

Direct communication is tricky, because there is always the possibility that what you say could be used against you in court. Therefore, you need to make sure any communication you have with your spouse directly is cordial and business-like. It should not devolve into personal arguments — if it does, cut off communication immediately.

Urgent questions or needs, especially those involving children, are best handled directly, though you should be sure to keep it civil and business-like. Upcoming payments and other logistical matters can also be handled through direct communication.

Be sure to keep copies of letters, emails and texts that discuss divorce-related matters, or anything else that may become useful during your case.

Communication with an attorney

There are some circumstances in which it’s advisable to let your attorney do the communicating for you, especially if you are fearful of your spouse or there has been a history of domestic violence. If there are no-contact orders as part of a temporary restraining order, it is crucial that you do not violate them, and let your attorney handle all the communication.

Attorney communication can also be helpful if your spouse is being difficult in the divorce process. Keeping communications through attorneys can prevent arguments. Of course, the more you use your attorneys for these communications the more expensive your divorce will get, so it behooves you to be as civil as possible with your spouse so you can get through the process relatively amicably.

For the guidance and advice you need when going through a divorce in Minnesota, consult a dedicated family law attorney with Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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Client testimonials
  • "Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.

  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties.Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.


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