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Even Adult Children Can Struggle When Parents Get Divorced

Divorce is almost always difficult on children, even when they are adults themselves. It can be very difficult to watch your parents, who have likely been married for many years, bring their marriage to an end.

The following are some tips for you to manage your parents’ divorce and help them through the process, when appropriate:

  • Stay out of the fight: Because you are now grown up and able to provide reasoned opinions about the relationship, there’s a good chance your parents will try to drag you into the fight — even if it’s not entirely intentional. Make sure your parents know you are not going to play any role in that. Do not act as their sole means of communication.
  • Help your parents communicate: Although you should not allow your parents to use you as their main channel of communication, you may help them to communicate with each other. This can be as simple as reminding them that you are not their mediator and that they can get in touch with each other directly. If this is too difficult, suggest they get a professional mediator involved.
  • Report abuse if you see it: You should absolutely step in if you have reason to believe one of your parents is abusing the other. Get social workers, police or other officials involved. There is no room to tolerate abuse of any kind.
  • Find support groups: It can be emotionally exhausting to feel like you must be responsible for your parents when they are going through divorce. Reach out and find support groups, both online and offline, to help you through the process and cope with your emotions. It is completely natural to feel abandoned or overwhelmed, and these groups can help you through it.

Divorce can be difficult for both the couple involved and their family members and friends. For the legal support and guidance you need, meet with a skilled Minnesota divorce lawyer at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

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  • "Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.

  • "With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.

  • "Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.

  • "I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.

  • "Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties.Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.

  • "I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.


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