Mediation is a highly beneficial alternative to divorce litigation, as it allows you to settle most of the issues of your divorce on your own terms, while saving significant time and money.

However, the prospect of communicating with your spouse about just about anything after you’ve decided to get a divorce can be difficult. So how do you propose mediation when communication is painful or terse?

Here are a few suggestions.

Consider proposing in writing: If you and your spouse aren’t on speaking terms at the moment but you still would like to give mediation a try, consider proposing mediation in writing. This can help you avoid a potentially emotional confrontation and give you a space where you can take your time and clearly articulate what you want to say.
Plan out the conversation: If you intend to have a face to face or telephone conversation about the issue, plan out what you want to say in advance so you can articulate your point carefully. Consider practicing in advance before you actually approach your spouse with the topic.
Bring professional materials: If you’d like to remain neutral about the prospect of mediation or would rather take the method of guiding your spouse to making the decision mediation is in everyone’s best interest, you could bring some brochures or pamphlets to your spouse for them to look at, or send them some information online. More information and context is never a bad thing, and it will allow them to see the benefits mediation can hold for couples who are willing to work together.
Keep it casual and cordial: Generally, you’re more likely to be successful in discussing mediation if you don’t come firing out of the gate with a hard sell. Your spouse needs to have a choice in mediation—if they feel like they don’t have any agency, then mediation itself won’t work for you. Stay neutral. You can say you’re in favor of mediation, but don’t put any pressure on them.

For more information about discussing mediation with your spouse, contact a trusted Minnesota divorce lawyer at Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A.

By Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A. | Published June 14, 2021 | Posted in Divorce | Tagged alternative to divorce litigation, divorce lawyer, mediation, prospect of communicating with your spouse, saving significant time and money

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Tori M. Appelhof

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Mary A. Pfeifer

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"Tori had a thorough understanding of my situation and made excellent recommendations to resolve my concerns. She was persistent on communication and handled everything in a very timely manner. I would definitely hire her again in the future if needed." - M.K.
"With Appelhof, Pfeifer & Hart, P.A., it is like having a family physician. They are all knowledgeable, thorough, comforting, and the only call I need to make for all my legal needs for many years to come. No matter what the matter, I totally trust their advice and commitment to me and my family." - J.N.
"Mary from APH Law helped me thru a difficult divorce. She and the entire staff was there for me every step of the way helping me on what to do next. They listened to what I wanted and helped me achieve what matter the most to me in the divorce settlement." - Dana C.
"I chose APH after my initial consultation with Mary. I felt my best interest would be represented. The entire process went excellent, the attorneys and staff communicated effectively and efficiently with me throughout the process as they needed to. Being new to the legal process and verbiage, they walked me and talked me through the next steps and the jargon, I felt completely comfortable and represented. I hope I never have to use legal services again but if I do I will call Mary at APH Law and know that I will be taken care of." - Jeff M.
"Divorce is a time of emotion and stress. Mary Pfeifer , My lawyer was professional and compassionate. She was very informative through the process. Her insight helped me in my decisions. She worked hard to obtain a settlement which was fair to both parties.Though, I hope I won't need her help again. It is reassuring to know a good person that is willing to help." - Rod S.
"I first came to Ms. Jacquelyn Lutz of Appelhof, Pfeifer and Hart in October of 2016. It was definitely the worst time in my life and she compassionately spoke with me about my options. Ms. Lutz thoroughly explained the laws, statutes, process and what to expect going forward. What was supposed to be one case, turned into three intricate cases that took a huge toll on me and my family. Ms. Lutz represented me in court on all three cases with a vast knowledge of the laws and how to proceed accordingly. During all three cases she kept me informed, calm, gave me resources to utilize, and (most important) gave me a realistic view of what may come next. Ms. Lutz knew each case required a great deal of knowledge and creative thinking on how to legally proceed forward with each case. My family and friends are forever grateful for the amazing representation by Ms. Lutz. I highly recommend Ms. Lutz for anyone needing or considering superb representation for any kind of family law. " - M.H.

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