It takes only one person to create a miserable divorce. Often the tenor of a divorce, as well as the time and money spent on the process, is triggered at the outset. Knowing how to set the stage to avoid conflict may help you achieve divorce goals and help your family move peacefully into the future.
Either by court or cooperation, decisions must be made before a divorce is finalized. Property division and child custody often spark acrimonious claims that lead to litigation. Consider these tips for keeping conflict low and expectations high during divorce:
- If you know you are going to seek divorce, speak with an attorney before you speak with your spouse. Quietly meeting with an experienced attorney lets you know what to expect, gives you an idea of the process in Minnesota and removes some of the uncertainty about your own feelings. Often well-intentioned but uninformed spouses agree in initial conversations to unreasonable divorce conditions. When they necessarily change their mind, it could lead to a court battle.
- Do not give your spouse reason to mistrust you. It is in the best interests of everyone, including any children, to keep conflict as low as possible. Share information, express discomfort without rancor as you feel it, and remain civil to avoid polarizing arguments.
- Consider negotiation or mediation instead of litigation. Mediation takes many forms but essentially provides parties with the opportunity to investigate and find ways to meet their needs during divorce. Mediation is a lower cost, faster, and more satisfying alternative to a bitter divorce that could sow anger far into the future.
It only takes one person to make a really ugly divorce. Mediation does not work for all couples and the court is always available to make decisions that cannot otherwise be made by parties. If considering divorce in Minnesota, consider working with attorneys well practiced in mediation to get the divorce that is right for you and your future.
